A prayer of remembrance.

I recently wrote a prayer to the Lord. For the past few months, I have been listening to a podcast called The Glorious in the Mundane by Christy Nockels. On episode 21, she read a prayer she had written to the Lord. Her prayer moved and inspired me to write a prayer to the Lord this past Wednesday. I hope my prayer connects with you and encourages you wherever you are at today.

Dear Jesus,

Thank you. You are amazing. Thank you for how you meet me in the quiet spaces of life. Thank you for giving me a day off to hide in you and to hear from you. You are my best friend and closest companion. When everyone leaves, you are still beside me. I am truly never alone. The quiet moments you give me away from other people and responsibilities help me to see that truth more clearly. In those moments, I can more deeply experience your nearness and voice.

I long to remember your nearness and voice always. Remembering is so important. Thank you for all the truths you reminded me of this morning. Thank you for the power of your word and how you speak to me through it. You drew me to two passages this morning with a purpose and a plan.

I am grateful for how you are leading me even when I am not aware or can’t sense your direction. I love how you show up in unexpected ways. You delight in revealing yourself to your people. I want to have confidence in your nearness and love. Forgive me for all the times my confidence in you falters. Thank you that your forgiveness is true and full. Thank you for not keeping a record of wrongs.

I don’t want to forget your word and what you revealed to me this morning. You spoke to me through Mathew 19:16-30 and Genesis 12:1-4. In both passages, you reminded me that those who follow you are called to follow you into uncharted territory no matter how great the cost. You said in Mathew 19:29, “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.”

Lord, thank you that you care so much for our hearts and that you are jealous for our love. You don’t call us to leave behind because you simply want to take from us. You take away in order to create more room in our hearts for you to dwell. You bless us when we are willing to trust you in that way. Lord, you said to Abraham, “Leave your country, your people, and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you.”

It felt like the light turned on for the first time this morning as I read your words to Abraham. I became overwhelmed with your nearness and desire to speak to me. I have been so fearful, Lord, when I have considered leaving my place and people. I have been so hesitant to give up what feels comfortable and safe. Thank you for showing me how deep my fears go and allowing me to confess them to you. Thank you for the tears shed and the comfort of your presence.

Forgive me for relying on my own reasoning and understanding. Forgive me for not trusting you with the details of my life and fearing mistakes, pain, and failure. Moving out west with Jon for grad school has been on both of our hearts and minds for years now, but I have had so much fear because of the potential costs. Everything about it feels unknown and risky. I fear the lack of family, friends, and community, the pressure of grad school, committing to a challenging and emotionally exhausting career path, and going completely broke throughout the process.

But I also hear you, Jesus, telling me that you are trustworthy and that following you often means letting go and leaving behind. I desire to trust you with the details of my life and follow you for your name’s sake. Counseling as a career path has been on my mind and heart since high school. It is my own self-doubt that has kept me hesitant. Help me to remember that my confidence is in you and that you know exactly what I need.

Only you can calm the sea of my anxieties that threaten to steal my peace. You are the strength that I need. I need nothing more and nothing less. You are shaping my desires and equipping me for the task ahead. You are the good shepherd that never leaves nor forsakes. Hallelujah. Christ, I am waiting on you.